My Journey Through Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Depression – A Story of Hope and Recovery

How It All Started: Anxiety, Overthinking, and Life Pressure

It all started with the accumulation of anxiety and constant overthinking about the future, especially when I compared who I was at that moment to who I believed I was supposed to be. I was working online as a freelancer, investing time and money to reach certain goals, but failing to achieve them. I kept thinking about my age, my financial situation, and how far behind I felt compared to where I thought I should be in life—professionally, financially, and personally.

Before depression, anxiety, and panic attacks entered my life, I was a very positive person. I never imagined that something like this could happen to me. But as Mike Tyson once said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” And that punch came slowly, day after day.

Feeling Stuck and Lost

I began to feel stuck and lost, with no clear direction or goal that could give me a sense of meaning or satisfaction. I thought immigrating to another country for better opportunity might be the solution, so I spent almost a year preparing, watching YouTube videos, and reading immigration forums. In the end, I was forced to stop the process because I lacked certain documents. That disappointment sent me back to point zero.

Once again, I searched for another solution. I believed that finding a job would help support my freelancing work and relieve the financial pressure I was under. To increase my chances, I moved to a bigger city. Months went by filled with job applications and interviews, but all I received were rejections. Being rejected so many times while giving my absolute best was extremely painful.

Emotional Breakdown and Mental Exhaustion

I cried almost every night. I felt defeated, drowning in negative thoughts, constantly fighting my own mind. I had never been in such a situation before. It was exhausting and terrifying, and without realizing it, I was entering the darkest period of my life.

At first, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Emotionally, I felt fear, sadness, and confusion. Physically, my body was always tense and tired. Mentally, my thoughts were racing nonstop. The worst part was not knowing what was happening. Not knowing made everything much scarier.

My First Panic Attack: When Everything Changed

One day, while buying food from the market, my usual thoughts took over: What’s next? What am I going to do? What will my future look like? Suddenly, my heart started racing, my breathing became fast and shallow, and I felt intense fear. It lasted two or three minutes, then everything returned to normal. I remember asking myself, What was that? What’s happening to me?

The next day, it happened again while I was sitting in a coffee shop applying for jobs. This time it was stronger. My heart was beating even faster, the fear was overwhelming, and I felt detached from my body, as if I was watching myself from above.

Understanding Panic Attacks and Anxiety

Later that day, I searched my symptoms online. I had never done drugs or alcohol, and I exercised regularly, so nothing made sense. Then I came across a term I had never heard before: panic attack. Panic attacks soon became a daily routine. I started having nightmares, losing sleep, and feeling exhausted all the time.

I avoided anything that could trigger another attack—job applications, certain foods, activities, even places. I read endlessly, watched videos, listened to podcasts, and tracked everything I did during the day to identify possible triggers.

Medication and the Limits of Treatment

I eventually visited a psychiatrist who prescribed medication to help manage my symptoms. I took it for almost three months. While it helped me sleep better, it also made me feel emotionally numb, as if I were disconnected from myself. I was hesitant to continue medication for a long period because of concerns about side effects and long-term dependence.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford therapy sessions at the time, so professional counseling was not an option for me. This forced me to rely heavily on self-education, personal discipline, and lifestyle changes as my main tools for coping and recovery.

When Depression Joined the Battle

When I thought things couldn’t get worse, depression joined the battle. I lost my appetite, became very skinny, and lost all motivation. Life felt tasteless and empty. I saw no reason to live, yet I was not suicidal. Deep inside, I still had hope, and I refused to give up.

One of the most important factors in my recovery was refusing to turn to unhealthy habits and refusing to quit. No matter how bad things got, I didn’t escape through drugs, alcohol, or destructive behaviors.

The Importance of Family Support

Another critical factor was being close to family—especially someone I truly trusted. For me, that person was my brother. His presence, support, and understanding helped ground me when my mind felt completely out of control.

Avoiding Triggers and Protecting My Mental Health

I became extremely fragile. Junk food, negative news, and dark or pessimistic content made everything worse. I learned to protect my mind as much as possible. I tried not to let my thoughts control me, even though it felt impossible some days.

Faith, Prayer, and Holding on to Hope

With nothing left to hold on to except hope, I turned to prayer. I prayed every day, asking God for strength and clarity. I stopped applying for jobs because it triggered panic and reminded me of my failures. I also stopped working out because the increased heart rate felt too similar to a panic attack.

I avoided junk food, crowded places, negative content, and overthinking. My days became simple and quiet, focused mainly on learning about anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.

A Turning Point: Getting Back to Work

One day, unexpectedly, I received an email inviting me to a job interview. I passed the interview and started working the following week. I was afraid that my mental health would affect my performance, but I also knew that having structure and responsibility could help.

After about seven months of working, I began to notice small but meaningful improvements. Socializing with coworkers, keeping my mind busy, and having a routine all played a role.

Techniques That Helped Me Manage Panic Attacks

One technique that helped prevent panic attacks was deep breathing. Whenever I felt an attack coming, I would inhale deeply through my nose, hold my breath as long as I could, and then slowly exhale through my mouth.

I also followed a strict diet. I quit tea and coffee completely and replaced them with hot milk and Aloysia. My meals were simple—mostly salads with lettuce, a bit of tomato and onion. I slept early and woke up early.

Supplements and Natural Support

Month after month, I kept learning, testing, and observing. I tried anything that had even a small chance of helping. There was no magic pill and no step-by-step guide that cured me. Recovery was a long, gradual process.

Some supplements that I believe may have helped include:

• Vitamin D3
• Vitamin B Complex
• Magnesium
• Probiotics
• Methyl Folate

Finding Calm Through Sound and Mindfulness

Listening to calming sounds also brought me comfort—meditation music, nature sounds like rain, thunder, birds, flowing water, and near-death experience stories. These sounds brought peace during my hardest moments.

Lessons Learned and Gratitude

This experience humbled me deeply. It completely changed how I see life, suffering, and strength. I am profoundly grateful—not only for healing, but for the insight and resilience that God gave me to break through this chapter of my life.

What I learned is this: I am better now first by the grace of God, second by trying everything that had even a small chance of helping, and third by having someone supportive by my side.

Final Message: Don’t Lose Hope

Above all, the most important thing is to never lose hope. Healing is possible, even if it comes slowly.

If you have questions, please reach out. I truly insist—talk to me. I would be more than happy to answer, listen, or simply be there. I’ve been there, and I know how powerful it can be to talk to someone who understands. I want to help because I am deeply grateful for the breakthrough I experienced, and giving back—no matter how small—is my way of honoring that journey and offering hope to others.